when there is no one to confide in?
Some days even I can't stand myself
and if I can't who will. . .
I'm not someone who's easy to understand
(but who is? really)
but I've always believed
that as long as you understand yourself
everything will be ok
But lately I no longer know
why
i do what i do
why
i say what i say
why
i act this way
why i think thoughts that bring me down
I take the little things and praise them
blow them up to find happiness in them
the little things are the only things I have
but at the end of the day
it's not enough
always extremes
when I'm happy it's at the highest
and when im sad, it's at the lowest
there's no in between
never
and if there is, its a state of numbness
an awful state where I'm not happy
and im not sad
but confused
I call it "the medi-state"
so confused with who i am
what i am
what i do
what i say
what i think
that there is no place for sadness
and no place for happiness
a state of self doubt
where I don't hate or love self
but question.
question everything
and try to form answers and theories
but non make sense
I wish someone could explain my self to
myself
